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My Life Was Stolen From Me

My life was stolen from me
at Nazareth House My mind
was taken from me as
well as my soul.
It was as if I was not there
most of the time

I was put down so much,
called a simpleton,
I would stand still in one step
and could not talk to a soul,
while the nuns hit me
to try to get me to talk,
and told me I was so bold.

This made me open for more
and more abuse by the nuns,
because it was the only
way I knew how
to take all of the pain
which I would hide.

I can not explain to you
how fearful I was
of the nuns and priest,
that when I heard
the nuns rosary beads
before even seeing the nuns,
I would wet my pants and cry.

No one will ever know
how frightened I was,
I would go numb within
and not think of anything,
my mind was blank
I would hide from the nuns
by hiding behind the other girls.

I knew that I was going
to be stripped and
dragged across that bed
Thrashed to get the devil out of me
as well as my mothers sins.

I will never forget
what the nuns/priest
and older girls did to me,
as well as the three woman
who sexually abused me in the nursery

My life was hell
I have nothing to show for it.
I am what the nuns
have always told me,
when I was a child,
dumb, stupid, sinful, simpleton
with the devil in me

So believing all that the nuns
had told me,
is how I have lived my life,
not knowing any better.

I hate myself for
not helping my children,
With their school work
I have let them down so much.
To send them to their big brother, Robbie
Who, without a word
took them for their sums
spelled the words which
I could not spell

My three girls,
Joanne. Rachel and Bridget
with brother Robbie as well
had never asked me why
I did not help them
with their home work
even to this day
they do not ask me why.